I’ve spent my younger years acting, safe in a world of make-believe. I learnt to transform into roles to hold onto a sense of harmony in my life.
Years later, still in that moment, I am another face. Another mask. I am not me—the forgotten daughter, the quiet friend, the unrequited love.
Until the pretending becomes meaningless.
And my life hardens again.
I’m tired of acting for my friends when my parents ignore me. I’m tired of acting for myself when I want the world to stop being so hard. I’m tired of holding back from the only man I’ve ever loved.
Even though being drawn to him petrifies me above all else.
When I act to him, he sees right through me.
Each and every time.
She has haunted my dreams for years. The girl I teased to watch her blush. The girl I watched in quiet agony. The girl I had a chance with, one I ruined when I pushed her away.
Now, after all these years, she’s returning to work for me. A ruse to make her mine.
I will show her that she deserves to be cherished, and loved. I’ll bring back that goddess who took my breath away when I was twenty.
You only live once. Side by side, I only want this final lifetime spent with her.
Without turning, I know it’s Robbie standing there. I hear a muttered “fuck” as he clears his throat. That familiar wave that I’ve felt all this time returns. No matter where he is, I sense him. My body feels in tune with his, like a well-loved instrument. I want to be strummed, my pulse to rise while everything else fades away.
“It’s okay,” I assure him, my voice deep with desire, “you can come in.”
I don’t risk turning around just yet. I know those eyes will loosen the grip I have at my side, and the fingers will release my costume until it flutters to the ground.
“Ten minutes to show time, Hazel.” His voice breaks. A breath flutters out of my throat.
In the corner of my eye, I see him move closer until he is standing behind me. My grip tightens on the fabric as I feel his warm breath against my neck. Goosebumps tease along my skin and I can’t help it. I have to look at him. My eyes turn and stare into the molten depths of the eyes of the most beautiful man I have ever known. Without a word, his fingers reach out to my hips and begin to slowly zip up the corset. As the zip drags up my side, his warm fingers tease my skin until soft pants escape my lips. I swallow hard. I run the tip of my tongue along the inside of my lip, not caring that I’ve probably coated it in lipstick.
He finishes zipping me up and runs his fingertips along the feathered tulle that peaks out at the top from under the seam of the corset. He hisses as the heat from my body rushes to the surface, giving my skin a pink glow.
He gently turns me to face him and I watch nervously as his eyes trail up and down my body.
“You are magnificent.” He breathes, his voice only marginally returning.
“Th … thank you for the flowers,” I stammer, too turned on to function. A slow smile warms his face as he leans forward to leave a gentle kiss behind my left ear. “Anytime,” he whispers in my ear.
M R Field is an author from Rural Victoria and has completed a Bachelor’s degree with Honours from Latrobe University, Melbourne. After growing up with the river at her front door, she returned back to her hometown after many years of living in the city. She now lives a tranquil lifestyle with her husband and two young children.
M R Field has always held a love for writing, filling journals as a child which progressed to more eloquent pieces as an adult. After ten years of creative instruction, she decided to turn these ideas into manuscripts. She adores creating new story lines and is a big fan of a happily ever after, but believes strongly in making her characters work for it.
She has recently decided to join the independent publishing world with her debut novel, Fragments, due for release on December 8th, 2014.